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All About Relationships
Relationship Advice: Two Tips for Great Relationships
Relationship Tip 1 I've been blessed with working with thousands of couples over the last 25 years. Out of all those couples, it has been very very rare to see a situation where both people did not have their fingerprints on the mess. In other words, in most cases, both partners have their fingerprints on the mess before them. So the question becomes, even if right now you think your partner is the biggest jerk in the whole world, the question still becomes, what is my part in all this? The value in that question is then you are . . . keep reading
Relationship Tips to Grow Close and Stay Close
Relationship Tip 1 My family loves movies. In the theater, on DVD and VCR at home, and now even in the van. I'm sure it's because of what I do that I look for relationship tips and messages everywhere I go. The movies are full of examples of what to do and what not to do in relationships. Yesterday I took our boys to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with Johnny Depp. Let's see, how shall I say this... ...... ...... ...the person that got the most out of the experience was our youngest, who fell asleep in my lap for half of . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair
"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for your marriage. But over and over in my office and on the phone I hear it: "We are just friends, there is nothing going on." The majority of extramarital affairs begin as "just friends." While it is certainly true that there are affairs that begin with impulsive one-night stands with a stranger, the most common ones that I see begin as "just friends." In fact, if you find yourself thinking or saying "but we are just friends" you are probably already in trouble. Gary . . . keep reading
Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does
We hear about it all the time - in magazines, on TV and among our friends: Someone else has had an affair and a marriage is falling apart. Our culture teaches that an affair is just something that happens in relationships, it's really not big deal. When we hear about this so often, we can become a little calloused to what it really means. We're numb to the reality of promises broken, marriages crashing, kids being crushed and families coming apart. I believe that the term "affair" contributes to the blase attitude we sometimes . . . keep reading
Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed
You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated. Things will never be the same again. The only winning choice and a source of hope is for the both of you to decide to make things better than they were before. You probably have a million questions. Some of these need to be answered, some do not. You have to be wise enough to ask yourself if you really want to know the answer to a particular question. Learning how to trust again is not easy. You certainly will wonder how you will know you're not being fooled again. The only . . . keep reading
Affairs: Advice for the Couple
Recovering from an affair is hard work and will take time. The good news is that in the more than 20 years I've been helping people put a marriage back together after an affair, I have never seen a couple where both partners really wanted to heal their marriage who could not. Here's a map on how to rebuild trust that I call the Trust Scale. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 the lowest and 10 the highest, what is the current level of trust? Let's say it's a 2. Decide on what you would each need to see to move the trust level from 2 . . . keep reading
Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed
To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for what I call a multilevel apology. Anyone can say "I'm sorry," and it's important those words are spoken. Then follow up with an acknowledgment of the pain you caused and a commitment to never let it happen again. In order to rebuild trust, you must be willing to live under a microscope for an indeterminate time. It will stink and be very uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of rebuilding trust. One of the first rules of living under a microscope is to avoid doing anything that . . . keep reading
Playful, Innocent Phone Sex
So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend whom you haven't seen in a while and you're trying to keep things interesting by talking about the days events, how much you miss each other, etc. So far so good... people who know me know that I approve of anything that is positive. But to be honest, this might not be enough. It's human nature to get bored, to let things become routine, and before you know it the fire starts to fizzle. This is one of the biggest challenges of a long-distance relationship . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships
The Law of Content You can get into trouble in a conversation if you listen only to the content of what is being said. Trouble such as debating, arguing and nitpicking. Really can't recommend any of those. The Law of Heart, Part 1 You really can't go wrong if you listen for the "heart" of what is being said. It's really not that difficult to do. Just answer the question, "What could my partner be feeling right now?" The Law of Heart, Part 2 For a successful relationship it's crucial to learn all you can about communication, relationships . . . keep reading
My Concept
From my own personal experiences with relationships I believe in a concept that I have been working with, at least in my mind's eye, which is to give generously of yourself in your relationship. Always do what you can for your partner to make him or her happy, regardless if they invest in you. I call my concept "The Concept of 100%". As a result of this I was happy, and never felt bad when I had to separate myself from a relationship. I believe that when you invest your 100% percent's worth, you never gets hurt, or at . . . keep reading
Five Tips for Breaking Free of The Drama Habit and Developing a Healthier Arguing Style
We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling angry and acting like a raging, out-of-control child during moments of anger are two very different things. And when anger "crosses the line" in the context of an intimate relationship, it can cause extensive-and sometimes even irreparable-discord and damage. Because rage is such a primal emotion-indeed it is a feeling that we have all been familiar with almost all of our lives-most of us can tap into our reservoirs of anger in the blink of an eye, often without even reflecting . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: A Few Observations on Marriage and Relationships
Here are a few observations on marriage and relationships. Information Explosion Just the other day, a couple in their late 60s said a remarkable thing to me. "When we were first married years ago, there was hardly any information on how to do marriage. Now there is just so much. I wish we would not have had to wait so long to be able to use it." I sometimes forget that all this knowledge is a relatively new phenomenon. So I challenge you to take advantage of what is out there. Read some books. Go to a marriage retreat. Affairs . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: 5 Tips to Make a Strong Marriage Even Better
1. Time together is time during which the complete focus is on each other. That means no TV, no newspaper, no kids. I know, I know, that's hard in our over-busy culture. But stop and consider for a moment: Can you think of many things that are really more important? "So what do we do with this time together?" you might ask. Simple: Talk to each other. That sound you hear is all the husbands moaning and groaning and feeling betrayed that another male is actually suggesting this to their wives. Be that as it may, there is no substitute . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance. 1) Apologize I've come to dislike the words "I'm sorry" because they're so easily said that they've lost their meaning. The word "apologize" better captures the sense that you have done something wrong and are willing to make it right. There's a scene from "Happy Days" that captures well the difference. Fonzie is getting on his cousin Spike about stealing from a store. After Spike says, "OK, so I made a mistake!" Fonzie answers . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages
A man walking through the woods near a river hears desperate screams for help. He runs to the river to see someone struggling as the river pulls him downstream. He jumps in and pulls the person to safety. As soon as he gets to the shore, he hears another person coming downstream, screaming for help. He jumps back in and rescues that person. Sure enough, just as he gets the second person to shore, another person comes down the river, screaming for help. He rescues that person, and another and still another. As more and more . . . keep reading
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Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships
One of the keys to obtaining a better life or living arrangement is to assess the quality of relationships that you surround yourself with. Do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships? For someone that has a pattern or history with unhealthy relationships, the . . . keep reading
If You Love Me
If you love me, you will keep my commandments? In the love games we play, and in all aspects of human endeavors, maintaining positive relations with each other is a must, to live in harmony and peaceful coexistence with each other. The surest path to keeping good relations with our fellow humans is . . . keep reading
How Love Dies: Spot the Symptoms Now, and Get Your Love Back on Track
Are you starting to feel that your man has changed so much, in a negative way, that your relationship is starting to die a slow death? In this article I will shed some light on the kinds of things men do when they want to extinguish the flame that sizzles their love. I will also give you some . . . keep reading
Rekindling An Old Flame
Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, is the only researcher of couples who reunited with former sweethearts. Her book, Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances, 1997, is based on her first four years of research (now 11 years . . . keep reading
Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know
1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones"... and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are "stupid", "ugly", "lazy" or . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 2 The Not-the-Same Syndrome
How often do we complain that our man isn't romantic enough or he doesn't treat you like he did when you first started dating? Come on, admit it, we do this a lot. The way I see it, there are two sides to this. Side one, he really has changed and he isn't romantic enough and side two, he isn't doing . . . keep reading
Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs
Harville Hendrix, in his book "Getting the Love You Want" has some interesting and helpful notions about the process of falling in love. According to Hendrix, as we fall in love with someone, we believe that this person will be able to meet all of our emotional needs. But eventually the infatuation . . . keep reading
Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 1
When you were little, you looked up to your parents. You imitated their mannerisms, words, and actions as you learned about life by watching them. This applies to relationships as well - you leaned about relationships by watching them. Not all you learned about relationships came from your parents . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife
According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will end in divorce. Without going into the typical boring drawn-out discussion on divorce, I'm going to get straight to the point. You are about to learn the top 2 ways to become irresistibly magnetic in the eyes of your wife. And it will not . . . keep reading
He Still Hasn't Popped the Question - Should You Give Him an Ultimatum?
You've been dating the man forever, and he has yet to cough up a ring. You spend every single weekend with him. You endure his flatulent buddies from college. You put up with his lunatic mother. You alternate spending holidays with his family and yours, spending handsome sums on gifts for his nieces . . . keep reading
When Groucho Marx Got It Right
Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic virtuoso, offbeat, wacky and insanely funny. He was also rude, abrasive and these days he'd qualify as verbally abusive. In film after film Margaret Dumont was on the receiving end of his scathing humour. She would fall for his . . . keep reading
Why Some Women Are Desperate
I asked Dave how he was doing since it was the anniversary of his wife's death. He replied, "It's rough, but what is even worse, is women won't leave me alone! I don't want to hurt their feelings, but they phone me too so I can't even have peace in my own home." Dave is encountering desperate . . . keep reading
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen After Wife Gets MBA
"Hesh, where is your business plan?" It was a question I expected from my banker, but not from my wife. She tried to sweeten it by adding, "honey?" It didn't help. I looked at her in disgust. I realized I had created a monster. Let me explain. I had encouraged Sue to . . . keep reading
How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3
Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire! Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag indications the person on the other end of your online chat is possibly a troll (married, partnered or undesirable)... 1. Statute Of Contact Limitations Beware, beware of anyone putting conditions on when and where you can . . . keep reading
Second Fiddle
I have been seeing a married man for the past nine months. He is unhappy but says he is not ready to leave his kids. They have a teenage daughter and a grown son, who is hers from a previous marriage. He is close to them and has a lovely home, which he worked hard for. We pulled away from each other . . . keep reading
To Hold or to Set One Free!
Hope you all are doing well and enjoying great health. There were terrorist attacks in London and even here in India we are facing many natural calamities; but as they say, everything in life is having some purpose and one must learn to carry on. Here I have some very basic queries to ask . . . keep reading
Spice Up Your Relationship Tonight
Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine now and then. Here is a collection of tips to boost the Scoville units in your romance. Get Wet and Wild The bath or shower can be more than just a place to get clean! It can also be a sexy rendezvous to reconnect with your lover . . . keep reading
Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make
1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. Spend more time with them than you do your own family. Invite them into marital disputes. Share private knowledge with them. Smarter move . . . keep reading
8 Ways to Improve Your Long Distance Relationship
Couples in love may often find themselves having to live apart for a period of time throughout their relationship due to job commitment, studies, military obligation and etc. This has made us wonder whether a relationship can survive the physical distance. Different people may have different view . . . keep reading
How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life
How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five Simple Steps Any time you spend around that toxic dragon, you are adding another cup full of misery to your life. You must accept that the toxic person you are with will not change, does not want to change, and does not want you to change. The toxic people . . . keep reading
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