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All About Relationships
E-Love at Easter - Part Two
The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of the year was ending. The girls worked hard to stay on top of their businesses. Just for the fun of it, Kiki now chatted regularly online with Dotun, her new e-friend. To his credit, he was actually a lot of fun! And, by some twist of fate, he lived in Surulere, Lagos! Dotun wanted to meet Kiki in person, but she had refused. Since neither of them had posted or exchanged photographs, Kiki felt safe in near-anonymity. She was certain that taking this any further would ruin things. She . . . keep reading
Jinxed Relationships -- Are Yours?
Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? Have your relationships all been ending on a sad note lately? Perhaps you've come to the conclusion that you are jinxed! Before you give up on love, or decide that it never existed in the first place, please join me; let's take a look at loving from a different perspective. Experts at the game of life and loving tell us that there are four important laws that we must know, and use to our advantage. They have been found to be the basis of all human success. These laws are: The Law of Sowing . . . keep reading
Love Problems
Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed off, or ignored. Earlier in the marriage, the sight-seeing, honeymoon feeling, and those fancy restaurant dates tend to decline. Why do they decline? It's not because your love for one another has become less, remember that. Your spouse may be getting tied with his work, cramming to meet deadlines, or being bossed around too much like the underdog. Maybe things are just not settling smoothly, and sometimes it feels great, sometimes normal, and sometimes crappy. Several hardships . . . keep reading
True Love - Part 2
Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the other and the other hardly misses a beat? In my last article, I said that one of the reasons is that the 'despised' one probably isn't the one in the first place. But let's leave the 'despiser' for now and focus on the 'despisee'. What is the 'despisee' feeling? Why does he/she care so, almost to the point of ridicule? Again, a myriad of reasons. He/she may just be a nuisance stalker or maybe has a nut loose. But what about the real honest injuns? Those with impeccable backgrounds . . . keep reading
Why We Chose The Person We Love
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana "Why do I always wind up with the wrong person? I want someone who is kind, loving, reliable and open. Yet my relationships are always with men who are angry, hostile, emotionally unavailable and cannot keep a job." "I want a woman who is emotionally stable and independent, but I always wind up with women who are overly dramatic, tend to hysteria and depend on me to make their decisions." These are common problems . . . keep reading
Two Easy Steps To Finding Joy In All Your Relationships
Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. We hope that this person is the right one, that we aren't repeating mistakes of the past, and that we will finally receive the love, support, companionship and admiration we've been waiting for. Each person has a shopping list of hopes, expectations and secret demands he/she makes of their partner and their relationship. When these wishes are fulfilled, then they say they are happy. This kind of approach to relationships usually brings disappointment. It fails to understand . . . keep reading
Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes, Part I
Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction to certain people? These intense reactions are pre-determined by a powerful astrological principle commonly known as horoscopes. The daily horoscopes not only list the Zodiac signs for each month but also each signs' distinctive personality type. The fact is that conflict in a relationship often arises when two incompatible personality types are in disagreement. The Zodiac sign's listed in your daily horoscopes can be used as a guide to understanding the innate qualities . . . keep reading
He Still Hasn't Popped the Question - Should You Give Him an Ultimatum?
You've been dating the man forever, and he has yet to cough up a ring. You spend every single weekend with him. You endure his flatulent buddies from college. You put up with his lunatic mother. You alternate spending holidays with his family and yours, spending handsome sums on gifts for his nieces and nephews. You cook for him. You've baked him birthday cakes. Occasionally you even do his laundry. Should you give him an ultimatum? Doesn't he owe it to you to marry you after all you've done for him? No. After all, it was you . . . keep reading
Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck
"and they lived happily ever after... ". That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended. That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end. And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy. In short, "... and they lived happily ever after... " is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like. WAKE UP FOLKS! I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP! We were conditioned to . . . keep reading
Hold Em or Fold Em?
Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold Em" and when to "Fold Em" is a great phenomenon to some of us. Our lives and loves are much like a game of poker, you start out with a full pot and slowly over time the rewards either multiply or diminish. The choice to "Hold Em" or "Fold Em" is a choice that cannot be made without analyzing the long term effects. Granted, love is not a game of poker, but relationships, like any game of chance is a risk, if you don't initially take the risk/chance . . . keep reading
Frugal Ways To Show Your Love
At one time, I would have never wanted to share my frugal ideas for showing love to those around you. My reason for keeping it to myself? At one time I thought that no one would be interested. After all, we were the only couple not buying each other expensive gifts, jewelry, roses, and more, right? Reality check! I have grown up a lot over these last 10 years and I have learned that I am not the only one clipping coupons and cutting my children's hair myself. There are lots of other families out there just like my husband . . . keep reading
Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 3 - The Jealousy Syndrome
Jealousy, unfortunately it seems to pop up sometime in even the happiest relationships. Jealousy can happen to anyone, male or female, young or old. Sometimes it is justified; sometimes it's about things imagined. Either way, it is an ugly, unwanted feeling. In talking to women, I have found a few common sources of jealousy that we as the female species seem to feel. All of these do not apply to all women, but this is a general consensus. Our man looking at a woman we consider pretty. Our man having any association with porn . . . keep reading
Happily Single v Happily Married
Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives wishing they were something they are not? Short people would like to be tall; plump people want to be thin; singles want to be in a relationship, possibly married, and those who are married eye their single friends and the freedom they have, with some jealousy. Family gatherings are always a minefield for the singletons amongst us. Our friends and relations, who have found their significant other, can't wait for everyone else to do the same - thereby re-affirming their own decision . . . keep reading
Ounce of Prevention
"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during a fancy ceremony, but how many people actually think about what it is that they're saying? How many people commit to living those words? Complacency is one of the biggest enemies of any relationship, and it takes constant effort with both parties to avoid it and stay 'happily-ever-after'. Once an affair has occurred, it's far too easy to lay the blame on the guilty party, but in truth, it takes two to tango, or in this case, three. The causes and reasons behind affairs . . . keep reading
Does Age Matter?
In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon for a older gentlemen to marry a younger lady. If you ask why this is the case, you'll get a varied amount of comments. The negative reasons usually have to do with an Asian lady wanting an older gentlemen for financial reasons. I have had some tell me that this not a negative reason, but what stems from this argument are a variety of unpleasant comments. For example, "gold diggers" "mail order bride," etc. In other articles I have written I agreed with the . . . keep reading
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Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships
Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says that responsibility is really the " ability to choose our response." We don't have to respond to stimuli and triggers the same way we have always done. We do have a choice. It may take some practice and a real commitment on our part to let go . . . keep reading
A Little Help Finding Love
A little help finding love online. Visit the dating sites. If finding love online is what you're after then the most important thing you can do is to get out there and network with fellow singles. Visit dating sites and picture personals sites otherwise finding love online simply isn't . . . keep reading
Pros and Cons of Online Relationships
Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating and preserving a good relationship. Computers and the internet have merely added a new wrinkle in old pattern of love and loss. With websites that specialize in matching people up according to whatever criteria they choose, there are . . . keep reading
A Man Drought In Australasia - Bugger! Age is Against Me
Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high quality women in the 30 plus age group over suitable available men is becoming a major problem in both New Zealand and Australia. Current trends show that in Australia in 1976 there was a surplus of 30-something . . . keep reading
The Thoughts that Occupy the Minds of Most Men
Please note that this is not an attempt to give you a comprehensive list of the thoughts of all men, but rather my attempt to lead you into the crevice of the minds of most men. There are certainly men that do not think of most of the things here - those yet to be born. Also, remember that what a man . . . keep reading
Thick Slice, Or Thin?
Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle "The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" gives some clue to it's thesis. It's a book that Gladwell describes as being about 'the thoughts and decisions that bubble up from our unconscious.' What we might term intuition, Gladwell refers . . . keep reading
Here Come the Questions
Why is it that even though I am not positive if I like a guy, because of course it's only been a week, that when he doesn't call for 3 days it becomes a dramatic incident, and all of a sudden it's Fiona Apple time? There is no reason for him to not call; everything was fine last we . . . keep reading
Creative Visualizations for Love
To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to learn how to suspend or hold an image of the desired outcome in your mind in as much detail as possible. For instance, let's say that you need to resolve an argument with a dear friend. The first thing you need to do . . . keep reading
Dangerous Relationship?
I will in this article cover some of my own experiences living with a person with a dysfunctional personal disorder of type borderline. I call these person BP (BorderlinePersonality) to make things easier. Why is it so hard to live with these people? What are the warning signals . . . keep reading
How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship
Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of years, but they have not been put to good use for modern couples. Instead they have developed a bad reputation for being legalistic, money-grubbing things, negatively preoccupied with all that might go wrong in the future, and too . . . keep reading
Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret?
In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I told over a story I once heard in the name of a famous relationships counselor who talks on radio shows. It was claimed to be an authentic account of something that happened in real life, but even if it's apocryphal, I'm very much inclined to . . . keep reading
Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down
"Every three months or 3,000 miles." That's how the sticker in the left upper corner of my windshield reads. It's a matter of common knowledge that we are supposed to maintain, service, and tune up our cars if we want them to run well and last. In my experience, it rarely occurs to us to . . . keep reading
How To (Wo)man Your Boundaries
The first time I ever heard "boundaries" mentioned, it was by my then husband. He informed me that I had to protect and hold his boundaries. (There was nothing that man wouldn't dump at my door!) It took me a long while to learn: a)what boundaries were b)that he was responsible for his . . . keep reading
Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes, Part I
Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction to certain people? These intense reactions are pre-determined by a powerful astrological principle commonly known as horoscopes. The daily horoscopes not only list the Zodiac signs for each month but also each signs' distinctive personality . . . keep reading
How to Have an Affair - Beware!
People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They could have become disappointed with their marriage expectations which may have been too high to fulfil or they may simply want to carry on having an open relationship as they have in their past. It can be relatively easy to have an affair if you . . . keep reading
Want To Strengthen Your Relationship
Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk... say what's on your mind. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder will not strengthen your relationship. It will only create more distance between you and your mate. If you can't find the right words to say, write a letter. You may think that not saying something . . . keep reading
60 Words and Phrases that Make Men Fall Deeper in Love
The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is that you have a great deal of influence in the kind of love you get. Most times, the love one gets is a function of the kind of love one gives. And when it comes to love, communication is the fuel that fans it's flame. The words . . . keep reading
How to Survive Long Distance Relationships
One of the great obstacles to maintaining a healthy relationship these days occurs when jobs or other situations put physical distance between the two partners. This ultimately leads to what is called a long distance relationship that neither party may have been prepared for in the beginning. Long . . . keep reading
A Guide to Relationship Quizzes
Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes in their pages with a complex scoring system that arrived at a number. This number was then plotted on a scale and the reader could determine, based upon that number, whether their relationship was "good" or . . . keep reading
What's Up With Unconditional Love?
To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original . . . keep reading
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