| All About Relationships |
Desirous Attachment, the Trap and the Solution
I've seen a lot in my life. A lot of people suffering, fearful, temporarily joyous angry, hurt, resentful, longing, hopeful, and ecstatic too. I've felt all of the above, and I would venture to say that you or someone you know has as well. This article is dedicated to those who want relief and peace of mind permanently. I wanted to pass on to you the freedom I have felt from learning to free myself from desirous attachment. Here are a few examples. A man longs for a woman, and she has no interest. A woman wants to climb to the top of her career. A person REALLY wants a certain home, car, promotion, status, position, or thing. What is going on here? It's called "desirous attachment" and when you are "attached" to ANY outcome in life, as a source of happiness or validation, then you are caught in the trap. What happens when you get it and then lose it? You're miserable! What happens if you don't get it? You're miserable. What happens when you're waiting for it? You're anxious, stressed, driven, sometimes obsessed with whatever "it" is. Some people will go after whatever it is that they're attached to at all cost, no matter what they have to do, or who they have to hurt, or how "competitive" they have to be. Some people cannot find inner peace unless they "have" whatever it is they are attached to, and some people even take their lives as a result. I almost did after an unjust custody battle years ago. I couldn't see the "light" behind the darkness - All I could see was the injustice, the pain, suffering, and the burning misery I experienced really caused me to open my heart with compassion to others who suffer - because "I've been there." Think of every actor in Hollywood that wants to be a "star". They are filled with desirous attachment. Think of the people who lost all of their money and then took their lives. They too were filled with desirous attachment. The Cure The only cure for desirous attachment is the realization that whenever you get what you want, then it's usually something else that you will want after that. Right? So it's a never ending cycle. Once you realize that the cause of most personal suffering is the desirous attachment to an outcome of one form or another, and you can realize that if you let go of the desirous attachment, and allowed yourself to be at peace with who you are, from the inside out - rather than the outside in - a LOT of internal pain will be alleviated. Another example that I learned is suppose you DO get what you want - such as a certain person in your life - you're on cloud nine - UNTIL you have a fight - and THEN there's misery - as long as there's desirous attachment. Or you could be so attached to an object - such as a house, until the roof needs to be replaced - then you're not so happy anymore. The only way to free yourself from the emotional and mental suffering is to release all desirous attachment, and then you can go about your business, take care of what you wish to, be with whomever you enjoy being with, and know that you're entire life and reality does not EVER hinge on any one person, place or thing. This is the cure. I learned to put ALL of humanity on an even keel, and regard ALL sentient beings as equal. This releases the desirous attachment that places certain people on pedestals, where we elevate their importance as more than other sentient beings. ALL of humanity is equally important, not just "my" family, or "your" family - but EVERY person alive. No Attachment Equals No Suffering Think about all of the things that are on your mind. There's something that you're attached to... that you either want, or are afraid of losing. I've been there, and have received much, lost much, and now am neutral as far as longing or fear. I live with more trust, as opposed to desirous attachment, and the relief is astounding. Living with a purpose to be of help and service to others brings me far greater joy than anything I have ever owned, acquired or received. This is true freedom. It's freedom from anxiety, fear, highs and lows, as well as pain and suffering. It is not what is outside of you that will being you joy - it is your BEING free of desirous attachment that will enable you to live with far more inner peace, calm, serenity, and the joy you deserve. Shed a light on the illusion that a certain person, position or thing will "make you happy" and then you will come to see that true inner peace comes when the mind is free of all desirous attachment. Think about it, and then, enjoy your JOY! © Copyright by Barbara Rose. All Rights Reserved Barbara Rose is an Internationally acclaimed public speaker, spiritual author of: "Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE" "If God Was Like Man"and "Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life", founder of The Rose Group publishing company, inspire! Magazine, Institute of Higher Self Communication, and Rose Humanitarian Alliance. She works in Divine Cooperation with others to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Through a Divine Spiritual gift she brings through information to create the highest vision of your life, and our world. Her internationally praised seminars, widely published articles, Higher Self Certification intensives, and Divinely Channeled private consultations have changed the lives of thousands across the globe. For enlightening info, contacts, books, articles and resources to help you become your highest self, visit Barbara's website: http://www.borntoinspire.com.
|
RELATED BOOKS
FREE CD RELATED ARTICLES He Still Hasn't Popped the Question - Should You Give Him an Ultimatum? You've been dating the man forever, and he has yet to cough up a ring. You spend every single weekend with him. You endure his flatulent buddies from college. You put up with his lunatic mother. You alternate spending holidays with his family and yours, spending handsome sums on gifts for his nieces . . . keep reading Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love There are three kinds of love: love as a feeling, love as a decision/choice, and love as an action. The confusion of these three kinds of love is the cause of much needless pain and suffering. In an attempt to clear up this confusion, let's take a closer look at each of these . . . keep reading You Have to Read Heartbreak Rescue Just For You "The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." Herbert Agar It may not be exactly what you want to hear, but I think this is especially true when it comes to relationships. The more emotional the situation the more truth there seems to . . . keep reading 7 Steps To Creating A Healthy Relationship Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires knowledge and education to some extent. We read, study and take courses on several subjects that we as human beings require in order to live the life we choose to live. If we wish to improve on a certain area of life such as career and education . . . keep reading The Type of Woman Men Fall in Love With I'd like to shed some light on something that women have been puzzled about for centuries, and that is the type of women men fall in love with. There have been so many books written on this subject, yet most have not delivered the common sense answers I am going to share with you in this issue of . . . keep reading Make Time for Your Relationship "We don't have to wait till Valentine's Day to think about relationships", whether we're in one or would like to be. Most people would agree that romance is the key element beneath the relationship pot. Be it a steamy, sizzling wok or a warm, steady slow-cooker, romance is the flame that generally . . . keep reading Never Ever Show You're Jealous O.k., you're standing there all alone at a party and in the far corner of the room your boyfriend is talking to some groovy chick. She's coming onto him and much to your dismay, he doesn't seem to be bragging about all how happy he is in his relationship with you. In fact, he even seems to be encouraging . . . keep reading Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of relationships, but in intimate ones, it is all the more important. As with the closer the relationship will become it is easier for those lines to blur. You may ask yourself what is a boundary and why setting, or recognizing them do for me . . . keep reading Is Your Soulmate an Idiot? Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in the idea that they "must find their soulmate." Where do we get this idea that we are somehow not complete unless we are connected to another person? What are you? An electrical outlet waiting for a plug, so you can finally light . . . keep reading What Makes The Ideal Man? Are you looking for the Ideal Man? While my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" will show you how to get him, have you ever wondered what the Ideal Man would be like? How should he spend his spare time, should he like sports, or shopping? Manicures or electronics? Well, in an online survey . . . keep reading 10 Red Flags In Dating Relationships When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as well) tend to overlook some behaviors in their new partner that do not bode well for the future. Then, down the road, comes the exclamation 'If I had only known... '. As a Psychotherapist who has worked with mostly women and a few men in the . . . keep reading 10 Tips For A Happy Relationship It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not the same. What can you do? These days more than 50% of all marriages fail for some reason. Usually the marriages are because of too much criticism over money or the children. Often when people break off their relationship, something is missing . . . keep reading When A Two-Salary Income Fails While this may not apply to everyone, you may find that a second salary brings in substantially less than you thought it would. In the beginning, Rachael thought that since she and her husband were just about breaking even as a couple, that staying home with the new baby would not work -- infant needs . . . keep reading And They Didn't Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents I came from good people. I didn't always know that. You know, it's funny. When I was 18 I sustained an eye injury. (Okay, maybe it wasn't THAT funny.) The coral I was sterilizing for my fish tank overheated and exploded. I was hit in the eye, scratching my cornea and the rebound of the hit resulted . . . keep reading The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. He said people . . . keep reading Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship! It is possible for women to steer clear of an unhappy relationship. However, it will require taking an honest look at themselves and their relationship mistakes. After repeating the same relationship mistakes over and over gain, women begin to realize something is not working. The easy way out is . . . keep reading Lab Created Diamonds Are Now Exceedingly Good When we think of precious gems, we usually spare little thought to the hard work that it takes to bring them to us in the beautiful jewelry that we love to wear, but diamond mining is, in fact, an expensive and dangerous procedure, reflected to the consumer in the price that must be paid to own one . . . keep reading Happily Single v Happily Married Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives wishing they were something they are not? Short people would like to be tall; plump people want to be thin; singles want to be in a relationship, possibly married, and those who are married eye their single friends and the freedom they have, with . . . keep reading Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial bus ride of life. Some hitch a ride and get off after a couple stops, and others hang on for the long haul. As our world grows ever smaller, the friendship pool extends ever wider. But does it grow shallower, too? So many . . . keep reading Are You Relationship Ready? So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and moving well along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. You have grown weary of the singles scene and the solitary life. Therefore, you must be ready, right? Not necessarily. So what . . . keep reading |
|
home | site map | contact |
| Copyright © 2006 How-to-Catch-a-Cheating-Spouse.com |